Naruto: Spoofs!
by Kitana Matsuri
Summary: XD Weird goddamn BloopersSpoofs I had to write. Sasuke and Naruto orientated. The first short involves Naruto enjoying the curves of a woman. The second one, involves Sasuke in Pirate mode! Hillarious! Yaoi based. I can't give too much away.
1. Chapter 1

XD I decided I like Naruto spoofs! Maybe I'll make more.

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_**Happy Crack Spoof 1**_

On a normal day, err... Previous to Sasuke going to the Emo Farm, they are all getting ready to meet up at the bridge. Kakashi of course wasn't expected on time, so he just didn't count until an hour later.

Sakura arrives, long awaiting her loving Sasuke-kun who's usually the first one there. She doesn't think much on it. Nor bother wondering why Naruto is actually walking up the road before the Uchiha.

Naruto of course, greets Sakura with his enthusiastic wave and a sheepish 'Good morning' as he attempts to pull up a conversation. The female ninja ignores the advance however and settles with a dismissing 'Morning' only to leave the situation at that.

Idly the blonde leaned against the railing, mumbling for why in all the world that bastard was late. How was he supposed to start a good natured fight if Sasuke wasn't here yet? He pouted.

Time skipped on, silence reigning even though Naruto would casually attempt a conversation once in awhile. After a while he gave up though, quite sick of just getting 'Uh huh..' or 'No.' after 20 minutes.

Sakura began to worry her lip, biting it gently while the idiot blonde just grunted and gave an irritated glare into nothing. Kakashi had yet to arrive and when the pink haired ninja was about to say something, up came a very... very gorgeous woman.

Long legs seemed to pour out from the short kimono like clothing the woman wore. Creamy shoulders showing off a slender neck and wonderful frame. The fabric was silken, all dark blues and blacks with some gold and crimson. Oh and that pale porcelain skin right against the silks. Naruto just stared, eyes wide and a heavy blush flooding his cheeks. He couldn't help but stare appreciatingly at the womans inner thighs that were practically on display. She had a graceful walk, her clothes riding neatly enough to cover what was necessary. Naruto, really... really liked the way those legs moved. Holy shit, how he'd like to...

Oh. Dear. Mother. Fuck!

Sakura looked ridiculously envious, almost sputtering green with jealously. Naruto couldn't help but be amused in ways. As the woman neared, his attention went right back to what he was previously looking at. The woman had silken black hair, a blue sheen to it. Her face had nice light touches of make up that accentuated onyx eyes.

His heart beat sped up. She was coming closer! Almost as if she were going to speak to him. Naruto gulped. Those luscious thighs still dwindling in his mind.

The woman did the unthinkable and really did walk over to Naruto, a light smirk tugging at slightly colored lips. She was gorgeous in ways he couldn't explain. Though something in the back of his head nagged at how familiar that smirk looked.

It was then she spoke. "Morning Dobe..."

That voice was not silky smooth, but deep and...

And...

Kakashi chose that moment to show up. He gave a cheerful greeting. "Morning Sasuke."


	2. C2: Captain Sasuke the 13th P1

This one just got a little... crazy.

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After a strange sparring match between two rivals, Sasuke finally takes a damaging blow to the head from a back kick that sends his skull into a boulder. Needless to say, he was out cold, surprising the other ninja to run forward despite the pain in his left leg.

Eventually the Uchiha joins the living world with a wince, confused for all his worth. Naruto tower above him, panting slightly with a creased brow showing his worry. Though the orange clad teen was proud for knocking the arrogant other out on his ass, he still displayed concern. And so it all begins.

Sasuke shuddered a moment, raising a hand to the back of his head with a light scowl. "Bloody hell, what kind of rum did I drink?" Better yet, where did that strange accent come from?

Naruto however failed to notice at the moment and answered the other with a question that was of course, rather stupid. "Rum? ... Rum!? Sasuke we're underage, we don't drink!" He nearly pouted his statement,

After much deliberation, Sasuke brings himself to stand; pale face scrunching at the idiot before him.

The accent only grew heavier with a flippant air to match the look on his face. Very, very un-Uchiha like. "You my dear idiot, have no taste in the finer things in life. I say we pillage and plunder all the rum this city has to offer!" A stagger went by, a lopsided grin beginning to show.

His declaration was ridiculously passionate, yet lazy in the same. Naruto was absolutely befuddled, his worry growing at an alarming rate as his rival continued spouting off insanities.

"So what say you mate, care to join me as I commandeer all the rum this world has to offer?" Sasuke slapped a hand against the startled teen's shoulder, panic clearly evident on Naruto's rapidly paling face.

What the hell was the blonde to do? Moments ago he was taking a fist to the face and now he was being offered a heist from the very same stuck up jackass! And really… where did that accent come from!? Naruto's face completely blanched. He just wanted to scream for all his worth and run. Run fast. Extremely fast… and drown his mortification in a bowl of ramen. Most certainly not rum like the other ninja was suggesting!

His face mentally scrunched at that.

Sasuke on the other hand sported a convincing grin that made a person want to scream yet swoon at the same time.

"Right then! Off we go." Apparently not saying a word was the same as agreeing.

"No person in their right mind will deprive a couple eh' pirates, eh? Heh ha!" Just as Sasuke spoke his last words, Naruto was subjected to a harsh tug from the sleeve of his jacket.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Sasuke! We can't do that!" the loud ninja's voice increased drastically, his attempts of escape no match for the iron grip of his 'Pirate' companion. Of course, he wasn't even thinking about why Sasuke called them pirates when they clearly were not.

While Naruto's heels dragged against the earth in his futile struggling, Sasuke bantered a few low murmurs to himself, completely ignoring or simply not hearing the shrills his hostage let out.

"Sasuke!" What the hell? This could not be happening right now, it was madness! He tried louder, even projecting his high pitched barks into the raven's ear. "Sasuke! Stop it! Neither of us are pirates, so would you ju-" He was startled out of his words.

Swiftly being whipped around to face a murderous Uchiha, it was beginning to finally dawn on Naruto that the blow to his rivals head was most certainly not a healthy one. Impossible blue eyes widened in his revelation. Sasuke really believed he was a pirate.

"Speak for yourself blondie, but I Captain Sasuke the 13th who's sailed every sea, am in fact a pirate!" Obsidian hues narrowed with their homicidal glint, a slight spark of amusement dancing within the irises. "I got balls of steel mate', an if you of all bloody scoundrels renounce being a pirate, then it looks like I'll be havin' to make you a eunuch if you insist on being such a puss."

Naruto was speechless to say the least. It seems to 'Captain Sasuke the 13th' that he is also a pirate. Inwardly he cringed, now more than ever with that threat openly stated, doomed to join the Uchiha in this insane voyage to come. Begrudgingly he nodded, submitting against his natural instinct to push his rival's buttons.

Sasuke seemed rather spunky after that, linking arms with the dejected blonde as he strode off toward the streets of Konoha.

TBC

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XD Wait for part 2… It's comin! 


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